I woke up the next morning still livid about the events the night before … I got all his things out the bedroom and piled them up outside and went in the lounge Hamada was still sleeping … I woke him up and told him to get up and get out … “Where i go it’s the morning?” He asked … I just said “yes it’s the morning you are lucky i didn’t put you out last night now get up and get out !!”… The love had gone i had no feelings and i certainly wasn’t putting up with someone who had no regard or respect for me and was sending me crazy with his mind games and lies.
He dragged his heels and tried to prolong his getting ready but i wasn’t having it … Eventually he got his things together … He arrived here with nothing he was going away with hell of a lot !! … I closed the door after him and on the hell i’d been going through.

Then about 5pm i recieved a telephone call from one of Hamadas friends … He sa id he’d just come back from Egypt and heard the news … He said a few things about Hamada how he’d lied to him also … He told me he hadn’t lent him £900 he lent him £300 the rest had come from his brother … His father hadn’t disowned him he’d telephoned him many times … how many other lies had he told ?

Hello folks … Yes it’s been a long time again … Sorry i haven’t been up to writing again since my last entry … Sooooo much has happened since then and it’s been like a rollercoaster ride of emotions … One day feeling happy and relaxed another day sobbing my heart out then the days i feel nothing just a numbness … And so it goes on but today i decided i would take the time out and get writing …

Since my last entry … I’d given my husband a choice again that he either accept my offer of a flight home or move out but i had the same excuse from him “what about the money i owe?” … he’d told me he had borrowed £900 i was mortified but told him it wasn’t my problem … I had told him before he went on his courses and ventures that the marriage was over … So i told him that he’d have to go back to Egypt and get a job and pay the money back from there … But he refused …So i said you will have to move out then as i can’t live under these circumstances … I asked for my keys back … The stress of everything was making me so ill i would rather have died than continue living like that.

I came home after a lovely afternoon out Hamada was sleeping on the sofa … All this was driving me crazy … When he woke up i told him to get off the sofa so i could sit on it … After his dinner he went out then i couldn’t find the keys … when i phoned he said he wanted to shut the door but he hadn’t shut the door … I was sick of his mind games … I took the keys back when he returned … Then when i went to retire to bed i couldn’t find my keys !! I searched everywhere every room every cupboard and draw every nook and cranny … They were no where to be found … I said if you have hidden them and are lying there watching me you have had it … He denied any knowledge and why would he take them ?

But he had taken them … I found them in the toe of his trainer … He said i must have dropped them … Ha hello he’d been out in the trainers with a big bunch of keys in the toe … I told him that was it and he was leaving first thing in the morning …

Hello everyone, sorry it’s been a while since i’ve written anything here…. but i’ve been going through a difficult time…. i got sick again and had to take time out from work and everything…. it took a few weeks for my body to recover from the terrible aches, pains and tenderness.

Then something else happened to change everything…. i don’t know how or why but i had a hormonal change that was to overturn all and any feelings i had for my new husband…. All my senses were heightened and i couldn’t bear or tolerate all the things that had irritated me any longer.

So my marriage has crumbled…. i felt sorry for husband, he couldn’t understand what happened and i don’t know why it happened…. i asked my doctor he doesn’t know…. i asked him to go home because what was happening wasn’t fair to either of us…. but he wouldn’t saying everything will change when he has a job…. but it wasn’t about that anymore.

So now everything has deteriorated so badly i’m at crisis point…. i can’t stand the stress and tension…. unfortunately my husband borrowed a large sum of money to do a course and get his badge for security…. so i feel like i’m held to ransom over that…. i feel like a caged animal trapped !!!

So i have to wait…. but i don’t know if i can do that

It’s my husband Hamadas birthday today, i am home because my doctor has signed me off for two weeks. After breakfast Hamada took my doctors note to work and brought my stuff home for me then went to the mosque. I had some me time while he was gone, he doesn’t know but i have booked a table for 7:30pm at Damons restaurant, i have never been but most of the women i work with have and say it’s good.